3 Things That I Learned This Week
Happy Sunday!
Each and every Sunday I spend time reflecting on my week and planning for the week ahead.
So I wanted to share some of my top wins, lessons, issues & thoughts from this past week.
- Practice Self Reflection
“Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day.… The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.” — Seneca
The Stoics were constantly reflecting — on their actions, their thoughts, on whether or not they were living a virtuous life.
They reflected in the morning and they reflected at night. In self-reflection, we can ensure that we live our days well and that we are continually making progress. I believe that with reflection, we can achieve anything — you try something, see if it works, adjust, and try again. Continue until you succeed.
Seneca advised us to balance our life’s books each day. Keep track of the most important metrics of your life — how much weight you’re squatting, how many dates you went on with your partner each month, how many times you called your mom, how many days in a row you meditated.
We must always be reflecting on our lives and measuring these important metrics. This allows us to become cognizant of where our time and energy is going, and where there is room for improvement.
This practice will ensure you live in alignment with your values and make time for the things that matter most to you.
It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. — Seneca
Use your time wisely. Act with wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance. Treat others kindly. Live well.
Then, at the end of the day, reflect on what went well, what you could do differently tomorrow, and where you could be more — more loving, more patient, more valuable. You can reflect on whether you have lived in alignment with your values, and whether you fulfilled your purpose.
Allow not sleep to close your wearied eyes,
Until you have reckoned up each daytime deed:
“Where did I go wrong? What did I do? And what duty’s left undone?”
From first to last review your acts and then
Reprove yourself for wretched [or cowardly] acts, but rejoice in those done well. — Epictetus
2. “If you’re freaked-out, that means you’re a professional.” — Shane Snow
If you’ve been successful in the past, and for some reason feel derailed, don’t take that as a sign you’re on the wrong path.
Chances are, you’ve up-leveled without realizing it. Said Dr. Stephen R. Covey, “We control our actions, but the consequences that flow from those actions are controlled by principles.”
When you’ve mastered one set of principles, your life will improve. You’ll become more competent, successful, and confident. Your interactions with other people will be far deeper and more meaningful. Your social group will shift from people solely interested in entertainment to people interested in solving problems and growth.
However, once you’ve mastered a certain level of principles, you’ll become aware of and exposed to higher-order principles. Immediately, you’ll feel like a child again. You don’t know how these rules work. You’ll begin making mistakes.
Your confidence will drop. People will say, “You don’t seem like yourself.”
You’ll wonder if you’ll ever be able to feel that same powerful feeling again. Don’t worry, you will.
3. Stop Trying to Be a People Pleaser
It can be tough trying to please everyone. In fact, it’s often impossible. So why do we keep trying?
The brutal truth no one wants to accept is to feel accepted and loved.
We think if we can just make everyone happy, we will finally feel good about ourselves. But the truth is, your self-worth is not dependent on your actions for others.
Your self-worth comes from accepting that you’re good enough regardless of what you do for others.
Here’s why you shouldn’t live to please anyone:
- You were born to express, not impress.
- People’s preferences keep changing. Changing according to their needs is like living a life of lie.
- Focusing only on others will distance you from your true wants and needs.
- You’ll get exhausted mentally, emotionally, and psychologically in the long run.
The best way to please anyone is to be yourself. And the best way to start is by figuring out what you want and need, and then communicate that clearly to the people around you. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.
It might take some time for people to adjust, but eventually, they will come around(if they were meant to be with you). When they do, you’ll know that you’re finally living your life for yourself and not anyone else.
Have a great rest of your Sunday!
Talk Soon,
Dan
P.S.
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